The Romance Reviews

Monday, February 4, 2013

Sucking It Up


I’ll admit it, I’m tired.  I’m very tired of the negativity that seems to be pervasive in today’s society.  I will also admit I fell into the trap of negativity and I over-reacted to something that usually doesn’t even annoy me any more than a mosquito on a hot July evening.  Most of the time, I’m pretty easy going and not that hard to get along with.  Lately, I’ve had a hair-trigger on my snarkiness and temper.  So not a good thing…

I’m physically tired.  Insomnia is brutal.  I’ve suffered from it since I was in my very early teens.  I may joke about getting a lot of writing and creative work done in the wee hours of the morning, but the truth is, severe insomnia is crippling and exhausting.  (Not to mention expensive because it takes a LOT of concealer to hide these circles and bags under my eyes.)  If it wasn’t for a prescription sleeping aid, I would never sleep.  The few times I’ve been without said sleeping aid for a day or two I honestly did not sleep.  The attack of the zombies happens often at my house.  Fortunately my DH doesn’t believe in shooting zombies because if he did, this is one zombie who would be dead.

I’m emotionally exhausted.  I feel as if my emotional/spiritual batteries are completely depleted.  I’ve gone past the warning blink that says I’m down to “less than 10% battery left.”  It’s been a rough fall and early winter.  I gave everything I had to the classes I taught this fall semester and that is something I wouldn’t change for the world.  I owe it to my students to give them 100% in my classes.  I have actually deleted a lot of the Facebook pages I followed because the reports on those pages were just too frightening and left me feeling helpless and totally jaded. 

Unfortunately, this exhaustion is bleeding over into my writing.  I am literally forcing myself to write the edits that need done to Gossamer Dreams and as any author knows, when a writer has to force him or herself to write, it ain’t pretty.  I’m managing to get five or six pages of edits done in about three hours.  Sigh…this is going to take longer than I thought it was. 

I didn’t find myself forcing the words to come with the edits for The Devil’s Own Desperado.  Maybe that was because it was my first, and the enthusiasm and excitement overrode any and everything else.  Maybe I liked that couple more…Nah…I actually like Cole and Rebecca a lot but right now, something isn’t clicking with the three of us.  Wow, taken out of context, that sentence could be really loaded.  (Oh, look…the snark is returning.) 

Time to go back to the edits.  If the snark is back, it means the second wind has hit…come on, buttercup, back to that other reality…

2 comments :

  1. Hi Linda,
    I'm so sorry you're feeling angry and sad. Maybe it's time to do something totally for yourself! For those of us with giving personalities, it's hard to take care of ourselves and not feel guilty about doing something personal! How about it?
    Hope you enjoy your personal time!
    Hugs & Wags,
    Leslie
    www.kingsvalleycollies.com You might really enjoy the Service Dog Stories section of my website!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Leslie, I have taken several steps to resolve the negativity that is invading my life. I've made the very conscious decision to walk away from the negativity, I'm spending more time with my doggies, and even if I'm not sleeping, I'm at least in bed, curled up with a good book on my Kindle.

    ReplyDelete

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